So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
