The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
