I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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