Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
