oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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