so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
