he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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