Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Randomize
