You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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