Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
