you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just found puke in my bra..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Green mimosas i think yes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
