Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
