I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
