He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
