Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
