all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I could fuck to npr.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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