Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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