I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
