Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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