Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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