Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
