ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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