the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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