Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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