If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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