so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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