There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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