i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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