You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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