tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
