i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
