i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
