I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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