Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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