"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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