idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
