I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
