i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
