STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
