Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
