do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So much Jack, so little girl.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
