the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
