Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think people are normalizing furries
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
