Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
