Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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