Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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