I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
