is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
