I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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