$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
