You really coming over, don't trick.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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